We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
