I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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