Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
