I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
