Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
