I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
