So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
