If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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