In the future we'll all be gay
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
