You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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