My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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