Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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