ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
