I heard we made out
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
