Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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