I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
