If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
