Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
