I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize