He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
