pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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