Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
