Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
