I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
