my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
