That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
