You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
