I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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