fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
