last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
