I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
