You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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