Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
