I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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