I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
