you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
