OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
