i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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