I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
