I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
