Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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