You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
