I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Someone came in the potted fern
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
