I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
