if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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