Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Semen is not good for contacts.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
