y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My nipple is on Facebook.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
