I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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