just tell him i said nine months
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
