Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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