Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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