marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
