Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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