you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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