apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize