I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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