so explain again why im purple
no
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize