Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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