worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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