Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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