just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
