we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
