and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
