the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
