Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
