Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My penis needs a shock collar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
