The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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