I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
