Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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