My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
