i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
