Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
