Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
