He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
