We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
