I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
