Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
