the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
