it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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