But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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