so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
