dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
