My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
