I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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