well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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