my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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