so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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