I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
