We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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