I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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