I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
