I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
operation have a gay friend backfired
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
