I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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