Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
