hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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